I used to have a recurring dream that I’m somehow back in high school as a twenty-something, and I have a decades worth of work due in a week.
One of the biggest things I’m looking forward to once school is over is the erasure of a deadline looming over my head, at least one apart from work that I have to entertain at the expense of my free time. Just at this moment, biting away at my peace of mind is a term paper due in a week (of which I have near next to no clue what to write about), another due in two, classes for next semester I have to choose by the end of the month, thesis topics, summer internships, and on and on. My Google calendar looks like a form of modern art almost, all the little colored squares and rectangles overlapping each other from 9 to 9 every week. And I don’t even do that much.
One of the biggest freedoms in the world of work is to actually get to enjoy the fact that it’s Friday, without already worrying about what you need to do on Monday.
more old drafts!
A snippet from my ever so short dating life:
I no longer think i got dumped in the friend zone, i know i did.
Sean was my number one prospect on okcupid. online, it seemed that we had a ton in common and that i could talk to him forever about anything. it is probably dangerous that i can feel this way after only a few emails back and forth.
we agreed to meet for dinner and a real life chat, and that was great, but i felt like a heel because i never mustered enough courage to kiss him goodbye. so the second time, i was determined. i wanted to make it perfect.
we had decided to hang out around his apartment in brooklyn, and that i would stay overnight. apparently this has a different meaning to me than it does to him. we go for pizza, and then back to play some board games. this continues until 1 in the morning. afterward, we go to bed, and i do kiss him. and it is very clear that i want to do much more than that, but he isn’t into it. i’m doing all the work, and i sense this near instantly. eventually he says i’m moving too fast. instead we get to talking until 4.
we get up at 11, eat some breakfast, then go to the village and walk around for an hour searching for something to eat for lunch. this is at dojo, a sort of japanese fusion place that is super cheap. afterward we head off to see salt, then we get some ice cream.
I am lost in Chelsea, hungry and alone. I hate navigating in the dark. Where the fuck is Two Boots, 7th or 8th? Can I borrow someone’s iPhone?
I am now carrying an empty bottle of Boylan’s black cherry soda down Jane Street with the intent to throw it into the concrete and let it smash into pieces.
I get off from work looking down at my feet treading upon New York City pavement, epic music swelling through my ears. I can’t help but grin. I am happy. I AM FREE.
Looking at unfinished thoughts in my drafts folder from 4 years ago is interesting, to say the least.